Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Brush With Awesomeness




I have a story for you. Sit back, relax and enjoy the telling of my tale from yesterday....

We posted our dear, old washer and dryer, Francis and Renigold, on CL Monday night. Renigold, the dryer, bit the dust a few months back. He had a great reign as our dryer for the past 8 years, even after all or our abuse. Anyhow, he was most certainly entirely dead. Tuesday morning I opened my email and found 18 emails regarding our washer and "broke" dryer. I called the first guy that emailed me and made an appointment for him to come for the "pickup" on Wednesday afternoon.

He told me he would be in a black Dodge pickup truck and he sure was. His name is/was Randy. I have Rad in my arms as I open the garage and walk outside to greet my guests. The first thing I saw was a gigantic skinning knife (I am not really sure it was a skinning knife...it is only conjecture at this point and it makes the story that much more illustrative, you know?)? Thing is, dude had a knife. Turns out he was cutting some muck off of his bed liner.

The next thing I notice is that Randy is about 6' 8" tall. Now, I can only gage his height b/c my brothers are pretty tall, and this guy was certainly taller than Jay (see Naked As A Jaybird post) by about an inch. He also had gray hair that fell to his waist. Actually kinda pretty.... He happened to be wearing a trucker hat that said, I kid you not, "Sniper School". On his coat were patches, one of which reiterated that he had been to "Sniper School" ,that he was a "Sharp Shooter" and was a surprising member of the NRA. I didn't get to read all of the patches. Something down deep told me not to look too close or act freaked. IDK, maybe it was the knife I had just seen. Or maybe it was the little guy with him that had a scar about the size of my arm going down his chest. Now, it was about 25 degrees out. How, you might ask, did I see the scar? Wasn't he wearing a jacket...or a shirt? Nope, he was wearing a tank top. He told me the scar was from a snowboarding accident. Uh huh. Right.

Anyhow, while all this was going down, Randy grabbed the dryer and within about ten seconds had it up in the bed of his gigantic truck. He just hoisted it right up in there. About five seconds later he had the washer, which weighs about 300 lbs, almost hoisted up into the truck. He looked at me and said "You gonna help?" I answered, "um, okay" and went to lift the thing into the truck. Honestly, he did it by himself, he was just making me feel useful. Scar guy couldn't help b/c he had just had his "collar bone" surgery. Within 90 seconds the whole thing was over. As they pulled out of my driveway, all I could do was laugh by butt off.

I have decided that this Randy is a mix between Les Claypool of Primus, who is about 6'8", with really long legs arms and fingers, and Ted Nugent (the whole NRA, sniper, long hair thing). Please see photos above. Not even kidding, that is totally what Randy looked like.

If you have any metal that could be used for scrap, I know two guys who could use it.

3 comments:

Artsy Aut said...

Wow, where do people like that come from? As a side note, I have seen Ted Nugent live in concert (kind of embarrassed to say that) and he was trying to play a flying guitar that was also on fire. It didnt work out so well and he had to run off the stage screaming holding his face. Hilarious. Im glad you made it out of your run in with Randy with no new knife scars. Way to go.

Robbins Family said...

Hilarious! Sounds like an exciting (yet freaky) 90 seconds.

Trevor and Heather Caffall said...

awesome...