Thursday, April 03, 2008

I "Sawl" the Bachelor on Monday Night...

I was going to dedicate an entire post to the use of the word (or pseudo-word) "EXPECIALLY", when I realized that in that post I could also talk about the use of the pseudo-word "EXPRESSO". Then I ran into Starbuck's to use a gift certificate and get myself a deliciously fattening muffin, and heard "EXPRESSO" from the idiot in front of me in line. I have this picture in my mind about what this person should look like, and you know what? I am right every time. Black eyeliner, alien hair (ie Victoria Beckham).... and Ugg boots. Yes, Ugg boots. Ususally, this person is less than 22 years of age, but not always. To top it off (literally), a trucker's hat may or may not be found in her closet.

What does any of this have to do with the Bachelor, you might ask?? I am not going to name drop or anything (Lorenzo Lamas) but the 22 year-old Shayne is my new, glowing stereotype of the girl described above. She is interested in 5 things: watches, shoes, handbags, and two other totally pretentious, shallow things that some women use to cover their souls. Did anyone notice how coyly she acted about "forgetting" about the rose and how her voice seemed to go up three octaves when she talked to the Bachelor?

Anyways, I saw her in her Ugg boots (or Fugg boots) and she actually uttered the word "sawl", not "saw", not once, but twice. Do you know what I know about people who say the words "expecially" and "sawl"? They can't (or don't or both) read books. They obviously can't read fashion mag's b/c for about the last 4 years, Fugg boots/short skirts/trucker hats have been officially declared OUT.

3 comments:

Dave, Mandi and Blake said...

ok stop! We need to get a pizza and just sit together on Monday nights and watch this stuff! I'm loving your comments!
P.S what do you think of the drunk?? I don't know her name but she's ALWAYS drunk

Kristen said...

kelly is ALWAYS drunk and she opened her dress last week because she has "very large breasts", i was DYING!!!
i don't need to do situps anymore because i get a great ab-workout from laughing during the entire episode. The Bachelor is a d-bag and i hope he ends up with Marshana, because she is the most ridiculous. I can't wait for tonight's cat fight!!!!

Jay said...

Just as an disclaimer, this post has nothing to do with The Bachelor program.

First off, I like trucker hats. I have for many years, but I agree, Uggs are friggin' ghastly. Here in Texas (I don't know if it is a Texas thing or not) girls wear short running shorts with knee length Uggs in the winter...and most of them have cottage cheese legs and are about 5'2. Again, this might be a Texas thing, but it is common and it turns my head every time and makes me ask myself "do they care that they look retarded and fat simultaneously?"

Second, I share your distain for people who use misnomers and pseudo words and then want me to take them seriously.

Expecially is horrible. How about "framiliar" for familiar? I effin' hate that one!

Another loathsome one is "irregardless". I hear it all the time and it drives me crazy.

There are many more; especially here in Texas, but they don't come to mind unless you hear them. How can these terms be such verbal anachronisms to me and not to anyone else?!